winter

gluten-free almond pancakes with honeyed oranges and pistachios

gluten-free almond pancakes on millys-kitchen.com

Here’s a fun fact about me: I’m a pathological perfectionist.

We’re talking self-flagellating, obsessive, crazy-town style perfectionist. Can’t-sleep-at-night, panic-attack, stomach-ulcer style perfectionist. Or at least I used to be until pretty recently.

I grew up in a household that, while it never felt poor to me, never felt quite abundant either. I always felt loved and cared for, but there was a lot of coupon-cutting and bargain hunting. There were big bricks of government cheese. We lived in a trailer park for a while. Add to that the fact of growing up bi-racial in a tiny, rural town in Illinois in the early 80s (mine was the only brown skin for miles and miles), and you’ll understand the intense fear of judgement I felt as a kid.

Being good at things, or rather, being PERFECT at EVERYTHING!!! became my mantra and my armor. It got me out of the sleepy midwestern town I grew up in. It made me the second person in my family (after my mom) to attend a 4-year college. Hell, it got me into Yale. 

It gave me the courage to move halfway around the world with $200 in my pocket and build a life in a foreign country. To be honest, that perfectionistic, never-good-enough, you-can-do-BETTER! drive served me in many ways.

gluten-free almond pancakes on millys-kitchen.com

But lately, perfectionism, with its attendant anxiety and insomnia and sense of insecurity have started to wear on me. I no longer want to forgo sleep in order to get a project I’m working on just right. I’m not interested in motivating myself out of fear. I’ve discovered that falling on your face can be a valuable form of instruction. 

Also, trying to be perfect (or even good) at everything is exhausting. It doesn’t leave enough time for laughing and snuggling and lazying around on Sunday afternoons.

Old habits die hard though. And despite my best efforts to chill the eff out, I can feel those old, hard-wired tendencies creeping in, triggered in part by the chaos of our recent move to a new house.

Which is why I have undertaken a new project. A sort of re-programming, if you will. (The irony of having an official project to work on being less perfectionistic is not lost on me, in case you were wondering!) Instead of rolling out of bed and into a day of doing, doing and more doing, I now do something nice for myself every morning. I take a bath. I read. I cuddle my cat, Loulou. I watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on Hulu. I make myself pancakes. 

gluten-free almond pancakes on millys-kitchen.com

I cook up a stack of these fluffy beauties, brew myself a latte and sit down at the kitchen table with no phone and no computer and enjoy the morning sun streaming in the window.

I don’t always want to take the time for this new ritual. But most days, I do it anyway. And I’m happy to report it’s working. I’m not going to say my perfectionism has gone into full remission. But there’s something in the act of pausing and taking a moment to be kind to myself rather than punishing or demanding that sets each day off on a better footing.

Who knew the path to self-acceptance would be paved in pancakes?

gluten-free almond pancakes on millys-kitchen.com

Gluten-Free Almond Pancakes with Honeyed Oranges and Pistachios

  • 2 cups orange juice, preferably fresh-squeezed, strained
  • 5 teaspoons mild-flavored honey, divided (optional)
  • ½ teaspoon ground cardamom
  • 4 medium oranges (I used cara caras)
  • 1 cup heavy whipping cream
  • 6 large eggs
  • 6 oz cream cheese
  • 2 cups almond meal
  • ¼ cup plus 2 tablespoons whole milk or half and half
  • ½ teaspoon almond extract
  • ¼ teaspoon cinnamon
  • ¼ teaspoon ground ginger
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • Butter, ghee or high-heat oil for cooking pancakes
  • ½ cup roughly chopped pistachios (roasted or raw)

*Notes: As you may have noticed, I'm trying to eat a lot less sugar and simple carbs. But I don't want to assume everyone else is, too. So the honey in this recipe is completely optional. If you're used to eating a relatively low-sugar diet, you can leave it out. If you're in the mood for a sweet treat, leave it in. You can even add a touch more if you like. :)

- If you can’t find almond meal, make your own. Place almonds in the bowl of a food processor or blender and process until they form a fine meal. You will be able to get a finer meal in the blender. Adding a tablespoon or two of sugar will help keep the almonds from turning to almond butter.

gluten-free almond pancakes on millys-kitchen.com

Place a sheet pan in the oven and preheat the oven to 200° F.

First, make the orange syrup. Place the orange juice, 2 teaspoons of the honey (if desired) and cardamom in a small saucepan. Bring to the boil over high heat, then lower heat and simmer until reduced to 1/2 cup (use a heatproof measuring cup to check). Set aside.

Slice the skin and pith from the whole oranges then cut them into rounds about ¼-inch thick. Place in a heatproof bowl and pour the slightly cooled syrup over the orange slices. Set aside.

Place the cream and one teaspoon of honey (if desired) in a large bowl. Whip the cream to soft peaks. Set aside in the fridge until you’re ready to serve the pancakes.

Make the pancakes: Place the eggs, cream cheese, almond meal, milk (or half and half), almond extract, cinnamon, ginger, baking powder and remaining 2 teaspoons honey (if desired) in a blender. Blend at high speed until the batter is smooth and homogenous, stopping occasionally to scrape down the sides of the bowl, about 1 minute. 

Heat a 6-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add about 1/2 teaspoon butter (or ghee or oil). When the butter has melted, pour about ¼ cup of the batter into the center of the pan. I usually just pour straight from my blender. You want to pour enough batter for a roughly 5-inch pancake. Cook until the pancake puffs up and there are bubbles in the center, about 45 seconds. Flip and cook until the other side is golden brown, about 45 seconds longer. Transfer the cooked pancake to the sheet pan in the oven. Carefully wipe out the pan with a paper towel and repeat until all the batter is cooked.

Makes about 16 small or 8 large pancakes.  

gluten-free almond pancakes on millys-kitchen.com

kale and citrus salad with vanilla bean vinaigrette

kale and citrus salad with vanilla bean vinaigrette on millys-kitchen.com
kale and citrus salad with vanilla bean vinaigrette on millys-kitchen.com

As usual, I’m late to the party. 

Because we are well into citrus season, and because you don't live under a rock, you probably know that citrus this year is amazing. 

I, on the other hand, had somehow managed to make it to the middle of February without eating one single orange or grapefruit or pomelo. Which is why I was unaware that we are in the middle of a perfect storm of citrus deliciousness. 

kale and citrus salad with vanilla bean vinaigrette on millys-kitchen.com

I did a little online sleuthing and discovered that last year’s drought, combined with unusually cold weather and rain (finally!) in southern California have resulted in one of the juiciest, most flavorful citrus crops in years. Now I’m on a mission to consume as much citrus as possible before the season ends. I highly recommend you join me.

Peel-and-eat is never a bad strategy. But if you need fresh inspiration for what to do with all that excellent citrus, let me introduce you to one of my favorite winter salads:

kale and citrus salad with vanilla bean vinaigrette on millys-kitchen.com

In true So Cal style, it’s got a variety of jewel-toned oranges, sweet medjool dates and a handful of spicy pepitas for crunch. The kale is sturdy enough for all those big flavors. The vanilla and shallot vinaigrette adds both earthiness and zing. 

I made this for lunch today and decided it’s the perfect salad for jazzing up a grey winter day. Healthy. Bright. And full of bold flavors. 

kale and citrus salad with vanilla bean vinaigrette on millys-kitchen.com

I for one will be making this salad many more times before winter's over. And hoarding as much citrus as I can manage.


kale and citrus salad with vanilla bean vinaigrette on millys-kitchen.com

Kale and Citrus Salad with Vanilla Bean Vinaigrette

  • 1 bunch young kale (I like Lacinato kale), stems removed and torn into bite-size pieces
  • Fine sea salt
  • 4 oranges (I used a mix of blood oranges, cara caras and heirloom navel oranges)
  • 4 large, fresh medjool dates, pitted, halved and sliced crosswise into thin strips
  • 1/2 cup spiced pepitas (see below)
  • 1 recipe vanilla bean vinaigrette (see below)

For vinaigrette:

  • 1 vanilla bean

  • 1 teaspoon sugar

  • 2 tablespoons minced shallot (from 1 small shallot)

  • 1 tablespoon sherry vinegar

  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice

  • Pinch fine sea salt

  • 4 tablespoons olive oil

 

For spiced pepitas:

  • ½ cup raw hulled pepitas

  • ¼ teaspoon olive oil

  • ¼ teaspoon toasted and ground cumin

  • 1 teaspoon honey

  • Pinch cayenne

  • Pinch fine sea salt

 

*Note: By the time I finished shooting this salad, I was super hungry and decided it needed a little more substance. I tossed in some leftover roasted chicken and it was transformed into filling lunch. A little leftover roasted salmon would work, too.

kale and citrus salad with vanilla bean vinaigrette on millys-kitchen.com

Place the torn kale in a large bowl and sprinkle lightly with salt.  Rub the salt into the kale leaves (this helps tenderize the greens) and set aside while you make the vinaigrette.  

Using a paring knife, scrape the seeds from the vanilla bean and place them in a medium bowl with the sugar, shallot, sherry vinegar, lemon juice and salt. Add the oil in a thin stream while whisking. Set aside for at least 10 minutes to allow the shallot to mellow and the flavors to come together.

Place the pepitas in a medium skillet and cook over medium heat, stirring often, until they begin to turn golden brown, pop and smell nutty. Immediately transfer the hot pepitas to a small bowl and add the olive oil, cumin, honey and salt. Stir to coat evenly. Taste and adjust seasonings. Set the seasoned pepitas aside to cool.

Slice the peel and pith from the citrus and cut them into rounds about ¼-inch thick. Place them in a small bowl and spoon a bit of the vinaigrette over them. Dress the kale with the vinaigrette to taste. Set the greens and citrus aside for another 10 minutes or so to allow the vinaigrette to work its magic.

kale and citrus salad with vanilla bean vinaigrette on millys-kitchen.com

To assemble the salad, add the citrus (along with any juice at the bottom of the bowl) to the kale. Add half the pepitas and half of the sliced dates. Toss gently to combine. Place the salad on a serving platter or individual plates and top with the remaining dates and pepitas. 

The dressed kale and citrus will hold for a day in the fridge (don’t add the pepitas or they’ll get soggy). The vinaigrette will hold for 3-4 days, tightly covered, in the refrigerator.

Makes 4 servings.

m'hanncha (moroccan almond and orange blossom phyllo pastry)

moroccan almond and orange blossom pastry on millys-kitchen.com

We’re all moved into our new home. The whirlwind of the holidays and closing on the house and packing is behind us. I continue to explore the neighborhood: I know which butcher and grocery store I like. The best route for walking to the park. Where the post office is. 

moroccan almond and orange blossom pastry on millys-kitchen.com

I expected moving to a new neighborhood would bring a lot of change. The piece I hadn’t foreseen was how adrift I would feel without all the small rituals that anchored my days. My afternoons at the coffee shop where I was greeted with a smile and where I knew all the baristas' names. The public library just a stone’s throw from my house. The running trail I knew like the back of my hand. Chats with my neighbor out the kitchen window. 

And though we’re still in Seattle, we’re no longer just a ten minute drive away from most of our friends. Less able to meet up for a spontaneous cocktail or after-work walk.

moroccan almond and orange blossom pastry on millys-kitchen.com
moroccan almond and orange blossom pastry on millys-kitchen.com

The good news is I’m finding new rituals and making new friends. That’s where this cake comes in. 

It's made of layers of phyllo dough wrapped around an almond filling infused with orange water and honey. It’s flaky and nutty and just the right amount sweet. This is my kind of dessert. Once I had baked it though, I realized it was definitely too much for Beau and I to finish on our own. So I took it to my photography class. 

moroccan almond and orange blossom pastry on millys-kitchen.com

There’s something about sharing food that makes people open up just a little bit more than they otherwise would. As we sat around the table before class eating sticky slices of cake, people talked about their work and their partners and their interests for the first time. We laughed and shared photography tips and commiserated over our darkroom blunders. 

I’m not going to chalk it all up to the m’hanncha. But I am going to say it helped. And I’m officially counting Thursday Night Photography Class among my new rituals. There will very likely be more cake.


moroccan almond and orange blossom pastry on millys-kitchen.com

M'hanncha (Moroccan Almond and Orange Blossom Phyllo Pastry)

  • 4 oz. (8 tablespoons) butter, melted, plus additional for brushing phyllo
  • 4 oz. (1 c.) blanched slivered almonds
  • 4 oz. (2/3 c.) granulated sugar
  • 11 oz. (2 3/4 c.) almond meal
  • 2 oz. (1/2 c.) powdered sugar
  • 1 egg, lightly beaten
  • 1 1/2 tablespoons cinnamon
  • 2 tablespoons orange flower water, divided
  • 6-8 sheets phyllo dough
  • 1 egg yolk, lightly beaten with 1 teaspoon water
  • ¼ cup mild-flavored honey

*Notes: If you can’t find almond meal, make your own. Place whole, sliced or slivered blanched almonds in the bowl of a food processor or blender and process until they form a fine meal. You will be able to get a finer meal in the blender. Adding a tablespoon or two of sugar will help keep the almonds from turning to almond butter. If you add the sugar while making almond meal, be sure to subtract it from the amount in the recipe.

- This pastry is also delicious with pistachios. When I make it with pistachios I reduce the amount of cinnamon and add a pinch of ground cardamom.

moroccan almond and orange blossom pastry on millys-kitchen.com

Preheat the oven to 375F.

Heat 1 tablespoon of the melted butter in a medium sauté pan over medium heat. Add the blanched almonds and cook until light golden brown, about 3-4 minutes. Transfer to a plate to cool.

When cool, place the browned almonds in a food processor with the granulated sugar and process until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. 

Add the almond meal, powdered, sugar, the rest of the butter, the whole egg, cinnamon and 1 tablespoon of the orange flower water to the food processor with the almond and sugar mixture. Process until the mixture is homogenous, stopping to scrape down the bowl as necessary.

Unroll the phyllo dough and place it on a large work surface. Cover the phyllo with plastic wrap and then a barely damp towel to keep it from drying out. Remove one sheet of the phyllo and place it on your work surface, with a long side closest to you. Brush the phyllo with melted butter. You want it lightly and evenly buttered (not dripping with butter).

Take a golf ball sized piece of dough and roll it into a log about ½ -inch in diameter. Place the roll of filling on the buttered phyllo, about 1/2 inch from the edge in front of you. Continue to form rolls of the almond paste and place them end to end, gently pressing them together, until you have a log of filling that extends across the long side of the phyllo sheet.

Gently roll the phyllo sheet around the log of filling. Brush the top and sides lightly with melted butter to keep the phyllo roll flexible. Coil the first roll around itself in the center of a parchment-lined sheet pan.

Continue rolling logs of filling in the buttered phyllo and placing them end to end to form a tight coil until you have used up all of the paste. Brush the top of the pastry with the egg yolk and water mixture. Bake until crisp and golden brown (about 30 minutes).

In a small saucepan heat the honey to loosen it slightly. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon orange flower water and stir to combine. Pour the honey mixture over the warm pastry.

Cool slightly and dust with powdered sugar. Slice into wedges and serve warm or at room temperature.

Makes 8-10 servings.

moroccan almond and orange blossom pastry on millys-kitchen.com